reunited on a wrist and in our hearts…

This is a wonderful story that got lost in the 2012 Christmas holidays. January followed and was a period of recovery from the chaos that begins with Thanksgiving and ends on New Year Day. But now, as Valentines Day is approaching, my friends have been on my mind. One friend in particular…she is my “Bo” – there’s another story behind that nickname but I will save that for another time.

In November, while I was in Athens, GA I received a last minute invite to a gathering of friends for pizza, wine and laughter. Who could resist! I was in the car in minutes and on my way to be with some of my favorite gal pals. Once there, conversation was fueled by wine and as we laughed and talked our gestures became more animated. I caught a glimpse of a friend’s wrist as she was showing another friend a photo. She had a stack of bracelets on it – not too unlike the photo above. Upon closer examination I noticed that they were a blend of mine and someone elses. That someone else proved to be my former business partner, Amy.

Amy and I started a jewelry business together about 4 years ago but when I moved she kept that business and I started my own. In fact, the name For Giving Works is dedicated to her and was a gesture, on my part, of how much faith I had in our friendship. But with distance between us – about 3 hours – we lost touch. Years past with no contact. I know, it’s sad. There is no excuse for it.

Amy messaged me through FB late one evening and I was both shocked and thrilled to see her message in my inbox. I wrote her an epistle in response. She got up during the night (she later confessed this to me) to see if I had written back. A lengthy and much loved epistle followed from her and I drank in every word. It was so nice to reconnect with her and we agreed to get together the next time that I was in Athens. And so I WAS in Athens – and here I was at another friends house and there was Amy and I – reunited on our mutual friend’s wrist. This had tremendous symbolism for me as the bracelets looked so right together – comfortble – each nestled alongside the other. And it was a “God wink” as Amy and I were planning to have lunch together the following day! A coincidence that I should see these on the evening before? I think not…

She and I had a 2 1/2 hour lunch and caught up on 3 years of triumphs, challenges, worries, jokes, family and so much else. It was wonderful and I can still see her sitting across from me in my mind’s eye – wearing her green coat and smiling at me – a smile that I had missed so very much. I told her about seeing the bracelets on our friends arm the night before and she loved it…agreeing that it was, indeed, a sign that we were supposed to reconnect. I adore it when the universe sends me a message….

February is a month for cherishing friends and family. It’s a good month – it’s the month that screams red and wonderful. This year I think I will make Amy my Valentine – I know my husband won’t mind! He is as fond of her as I am. So Amy….if you are reading this you are my chosen one – my Valentine – for the year 2013. I do love you…you will always be my “Bo”. Yes, you will….

Nancy’s apple tree….

I love my customers….they send me the most wonderful things! I sold the above necklace to a woman named Nancy and assumed she was somehow affiliated with the field of education because her email ended with the letters .edu. I was right – she used to teach spanish but she surprised me with an altogether different reason for purchasing this necklace. It reminded her of a poem by the Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. I share it with you because it is so wonderful…

ODE TO THE PRESENT

This moment as smooth as a board and fresh
This hour, this day as clean as an untouched glass.
Not a single spiderweb from the past
We touch the moment with our fingers
We cut it to size, we direct it’s blooming
It’s living, it’s alive, it brings nothing
from yesterday that can’t be redeemed
nothing from the lost past. This is our creation
It’s growing this very instant, kicking up sand
or eating out of our hand.

Catch it, don’t let it slip away!
Keep it from vanishing into dreams or words!
Grab it, pin it down, make it obey!
Make it a road or a bell, a machine,
a kiss, a book or a caress
Slice into it’s sweet scent of wood
Make yourself a chair from it
then weave yourself a seat.
Try it out or better, try a ladder.
Yes, a ladder, rise out of the moment
step by step, feet firmly planted on the wood
of the moment-Up and up but not too much
Just high enough to patch the holes in the roof.
Not too far: you don’t want to reach heaven.
Climb up to the apples, but not as far as the clouds
Let them cruise the sky, drifting towards the past.

You are your own moment, your own apple:
Pluck it from your apple tree.
Hold it up in your hand: It shines like a star
Stroke it, sink your teeth into it.

Now off you go whistling on your way!

It is the interactions with my customers that keeps me from putting my jewelry in stores. I love the stories that people send me that tell me why they chose a particular piece. It’s so gratifying – especially when I get to read something as wonderful as this. Thank you for sharing it with me Nancy. Thank you….I am “whistling on my way”…

Lettie

and she lived happily ever after….

“You look really happy and I can tell. You really are happy”. These words were spoken to me at about 9:35 am this morning by someone who knows – who really knows because they can spot fraudulent or “pretend” happiness. Can’t tell you who said it – sorry – but I can tell you that it meant a great deal to me to hear these words from this person.

I felt like I had graduated from a very difficult curriculum at the university of how to be happy. If only I could get these words printed on a diploma…I would frame it in the most extravagant way and hang it just above my desk – a daily reminder that I have mastered the course.

And a difficult course it has been….I have been working on being happy with myself for about 5 years now. Prior to this handful of years I suffered from a serious case of the “what is wrong with me” and the “why am I not happy” mindsets. I just got so tired of it that I had to seek assistance beyond what I could provide for myself. I found help of all sorts and in abundance! I owe a big thank you to my friends and family, For Giving Works, great blogs, all of you who are reading this, good “how to” books AND especially my husband who likes me “just as I am”……he allows me to drive him crazy with my beads, dogs, peanut butter cravings and the general chaos that comes from living with a creative person that has no discipline whatsoever.

I used to think that happiness would come from an outside source but it does not – it has to come from within. I waited around far too long for it to drop into my lap. It just doesn’t work that way. Happiness is derived from an appreciation of all that we have in this moment – this very moment. With all of our flaws and personality quirks we must learn to be happy with who we are and stop wishing we were like someone else. One of my favorite quotes is “Be yourself – everyone else is taken”. I should have payed more attention to this.

And so today I am especially happy for I have been told that I am, indeed, “happy”. I had been suspicious that perhaps I was for a few months but I needed for someone else to recognize it and tell me that it is my truth – my diploma – my reward for working so hard to find it.

wait, wait, wait….

Much time is spent pondering why it took me so long to finally figure out what I wanted to do when I grew up. I mean, I am middle aged, and it was only about three years ago that I stumbled onto the right path and believe me – it was a stumble. I did not start making jewelry with the intent to become For Giving Works Jewelry. It sort of just evolved as a result of a conversation on a rainy afternoon with a friend. Now not a day goes by that I don’t pause to give thanks because I am doing what I want and love to do. The satisfaction that comes from making a piece of jewelry that will find its way to someone is indeed wonderful, but the joy that I derive from meeting the people that cross my path because I am For Giving Works is amazing. Here is another joyful connection that was made as a result of the amazing phenomenon that is called social networking.

About two weeks ago I received a telephone call from a very nice and courteous man named Nathan who resides somewhere near Macon. He introduced himself and explained that his mother was in Georgia visiting with him for his birthday which happened to be on that particular day. Nathan went on to explain that his mother had seen my jewelry on Facebook and that they had decided to telephone me upon realizing that they were just 2 hours away

Sometime during our friendly chat I asked the obvious question “Where does your mother live?”. Nathan responded “Southeast Texas”. Cool, I thought, I grew up in that part of Texas. He proceeded to tell me that she was from an area called the “Golden Triangle” that is formed by three small cities – those being Beaumont, Port Arthur and Orange. WHAT! Again, as with the giveaway email about the chickens in my back yard, my head began to spin in disbelief. I could not process what he was saying. This was where I grew up!

“Wait, wait, wait” I shouted while waving my hands at the telephone! I declared my origins to be from the same place and then I heard Nathan say “Mama, you are not going to believe where this woman is from” and then I heard lots of chatter before I found myself on speaker phone. We laughed about the coincidence but I knew it was another “God wink” and that these were people that I should know. We made arrangements to meet for lunch the next day in Vidalia.

Just 24 hours later I was excited to learn that Nathan, his wife and his mother were indeed coming when he called to confirm. We made arrangements to meet downtown. I was waiting for them on the main road into town and merrily led them to a local cafe where we dined al fresco on chicken salad and great conversation. In fact, we were so busy talking that we forgot to pay the bill and were nearly driving away before someone remembered.

To be “found” by such nice people is reason enough to give thanks for my little jewelry business but For Giving Works Jewelry is also about filling my hard wired need to create. I have always had busy hands – ask anyone that knows me. But there is something about being me while simultaneously being For Giving Works that fulfills a deeper need. It’s a hard thing to put into words but I think it has given me definition, confidence, joy and wait, wait, WAIT!

It has connected me to you and that makes me happy. Yes! It does indeed…I am smiling.

40 plus turkeys and many more to come…..

Imagine a white farmhouse nestled back in a pecan grove with a circular driveway, big magnolia trees with a tree swing and a front door with screen door.  This is where Thanksgiving begins for the McArthur clan.  It starts on Wednesday night at my mother-in-law’s home – the home where my husband and his two siblings grew up.  His father grew up there also.  The house is filled with photos of generations of McArthurs and dozens of photo albums of Thanksgivings past.  Family begins to trickle in at about 6:30 pm.  It is not long before the house is full of conversation and the smell of dinner.  It is traditional to start the three day celebration at Hackbranch which is the name of my husband’s  family farm.  Brunswick stew, corn muffins, marinated cole slaw and a plethora of homemade cakes, cookies and pies are the standard fare.   It would not be Thanksgiving without them.  The screen door opens and slams closed as people arrive and it is an easy evening with lots of laughter and hugs.  All but 4 of the McArthur clan do not live at or near the homeplace so the incoming crowd almost fully books and takes over one of the local motels.  After dinner they wander back to the motel and the visiting continues late into the evening from room to room.  The lobby always has some McAthurs hanging about.   “Welcome McArthur clan” is always posted on the marquis outside.  Everbody in town knows that we have gathered – again – for another wonderful Thanksgiving.

This family tradition has been going on for over 40 yrs – maybe closer to 50.  No one is sure exactly how long it has been happening.  I have been married to Reid for almost 30 years and it was well-established when we met.  I remember the first time I was invited.  It was serious business.   No one subjects a boyfriend or girlfriend to this gathering of big personalities  unless it is a serious relationship.  I remember being overwhelmed but also “wowed” with the way the family welcomed me.

Thursday – Thanksgiving day – begins with the family gathering at the little family church called McGregor Presbyterian.  Think of the prettiest little red brick church with white trim and beautiful windows and you have it….inside there are wood pews – just enough for each family to have one to sit on.  We start our traditional McArthur Thanksgiving service at 11:3o am.  We are serious about giving thanks – there is even a printed program for the service.  But it is not a traditional church service – it is a service of thankfulness for family and country and a vehicle for family news.  It is also a time of reflection on what it means to be a part of this family.  Uncle Don McArthur is our patriarch of the family and is very active in the church so he greets us and encourages us to find our places so that we can begin.  My mother-in-law,  Anice McArthur is our matriarch of the clan and she is right up front on the piano.  We are a busy bunch so it is difficult to silence the room but Uncle Don graciously presides and silences us in order that we can begin to sing.  We generally sing things like God Bless America and Our Country Tis of Thee – things we all know the words to and are confident about singing.  We are champions of the spoken word but song – let’s just say that we get through it.  I am always moved to tears with the patriotic songs no matter how badly we sing them.  I keep a tissue close by…..

Then the best part of the service is at hand – the family news!  Pew by pew – the head of that family stands up in their pew and gives a summation of what has occurred within their family.  There are always new babies and in some years  some losses.  We give thanks for the new members and those we miss.  It is a special time of rememberence and welcoming.  There are about 20 pews in the church and a family occupies each one – sometimes doubling up – so it takes quite a bit of time to hear it all but it is so perfect because we all hear it at once.  That means the rest of the three day celebration is just all about playing with one another. 

Uncle Don is a wise gentleman so he knows that before he lets the bunch of us leave the church we need to have a blessing for lunch before we scatter throughout the trees to walk down the dirt road that leads to the original family homeplace – which we lovingly call McGregor.  The dirt road is lined with old barns filled with vintage farm equipment – it’s like a history lesson in farming.  McGregor is just beyond the magnolia trees….

Think of a beautiful white farmhouse with wrap-around porch and lots of gingerbread trim.  Add an enormous camelia bush right by the front steps, put some cows in the back yard, lots of rocking chairs on the porch and an old white picket fence and you have McGregor.  It is the dearest of places to all of us – even to those that are fortunate to have married into this family.  It is where the McArthur clan established itself.  Eight McArthur children were born and raised in this house.  All of the original furniture remains.  It is difficult to tell you how beautiful it is. 

Uncle Don has already blessed the food but before he allows us access to the fine Thanksgiving fare we gather on the front steps for a family photo.  We are in some years 80 strong and in others as few as 60.  It is my understanding that we are pushing 80 this year.  The photo is quite a production but we are cooperative so that we can get to the turkey.   There is usually quite a bit of shouting from the crowd to HURRY!   Taped to the wall on the porch we find our seating assignments and also directions on where to get our food.  The seating arrangements used to be written by hand on notebook paper.   They are now printed out with a bold font that is easy to read.  I sort of miss the notebook paper.  People are assigned to sit in every room of the house including the hall and the kitchen.  The seating arrangements are a big job.  I would not want that responsibility. 

The meal is catered and we all pitch in to cover the costs.  There are no dishes to do so we can hurry back to the motel or our homes and change into hunting or play clothes.   The rest of Thursday and all of Friday is spent at a cabin on a pond that we call The Little House.  Activities include hunting, horseback riding, skeet shooting, canoeing, fishing, cards, checkers and lots of rocking.   We eat constantly – grazing on the left-overs from Wednesday night and Thanksgiving lunch.   The evenings are spent in the lobby of the motel watching college football.  Good byes are said a little along the way so it is not a mass exodus.  It’s easier that way.  We trickle in  –  we trickle out.  And we count the days until we will all be together again. 

It’s the best time of the year.  Ask any one of the clan – any age – any time and they will tell you that Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday.  Ask me?  I love it and I am one of “those that married in”!   The tradition is destined to go on for many years because those of us that are becoming the senior members can see the youth bonding and holding dear the traditions already in place.  They will make sure it happens because they will want their children to know the joy. 

 
It is with a tinge of sadness that I will only get to participate in the Wednesday night gathering this year as I am flying out to Texas to see my family.  I have three brothers  and parents that I only see every two years.   But I am not worried – I will still be a McArthur next year and they will gather again.  It’s a sure thing – just 365 days away.   I am already looking forward….

Karen’s necklace…..

“Now…..for an unexpected surprise for someone……Karen Mayfield -would you please come to the front of the room and face everyone….you worked so hard to get me so many new LIKES that you get to choose a necklace from my shop as a very personal and heartfelt thank you…to YOU, from me with so much gratitude that I might burst!”

These are the final words I posted on my Facebook page last night as I concluded a two day giveaway – it was supposed to be a way to give back to those that follow my page.   But God “winked at me” as he always seems to do when I need it and the giveaway turned into a lesson/gift for me.

Karen and I had a lovely visit over the telephone last evening after she “came to the front of the room” and I asked her to provide me with a list of pieces that she would like to have – I intended to mail her one and let it be a surprise when she opened the box – to see which one I had sent her.  So Karen – if you are reading this I am sorry!  This is a “spoiler”….

I chose the above necklace for personal reasons.  I have a similar necklace – with a cross that I wear over my heart – and I reach for it often.  It is a good “everyday” necklace.   The focal point of the necklace is subtle but the message to myself is bold.   When I am wearing mine I find that I often reach over and rub the cross or wrap my hand around it or turn it…..it is a comfort and a reminder to remain faithful to all things that I believe in.

Knowing that Karen has this necklace will give us a special connection now and I love that.  I am so thankful to Karen for her enthusiasm for my jewelry these past 48 hours.   I found out that she is also a resident of Georgia!  That means our paths could really and truly converge – she is just 4 hours away.   My arms have a hug in them for her.  I hope that I will get to deliver it to her in person one day but for now the hug will be in the form of a necklace with a cross to wear over her heart.

Thank you Karen, thank you.