i find myself almost two thirds of the way through january of 2011 and in reflection of the past year i learned many lessons but three were major realizations that are worth putting down in writing and sharing… i won’t need to write these on the back of my hand or use post-it notes to remember them for they are branded on and in my heart and in the core of who i now am. by blogging my “hard knocks” perhaps i can save you some anguish…
the first of the lessons involves writing an email….never, never ever assume that something that you are writing (or even saying) out of love and concern will be interpreted as that. i wrote an email that the recipient perceived to be sabotage and self-pity. i was shocked. i have never thought that all of those little hearts and lol’s that people use were attractive but i wonder if i had included some of them in the email if it might have made a difference. i will never know…and have lost a very close friend as a result of this “hard knock” lesson. i now think very hard before i write an email or express concern about another person (really – all things written about anything) without trying to imagine how it might be perceived. communication is a tricky thing….i will just have to work harder at it. i don’t want to lose any more friends because there are no lol’s or little hearts in my emails…
lesson number two has been the hardest to accept but i now have it tattooed in my inner eye so that i will never forget it. we can’t control the journey of another person’s life – we simply can’t. we can nudge and hint and try all sorts of things but ultimately their life is their journey. this is a lesson i learned with my son this past march. his path is currently different than what his father and i had imagined and offered him. he has chosen another road – his own road – and he is ultimately more happy for having done so. it was painful to watch him at the critical juncture but with much love and support from both parents he made the necessary changes to thrive and is presently doing so. i learned this lesson with my son but it is true of friends, relatives – whoever….their life is their journey and we do them a good deed by supporting them along their way even when it’s not what we imagine is best for them. only they know and it is their gift to be able to chart their own journeys. a spiritual teacher whose name i can’t spell called this lesson “staying in your own car in your own lane and on your own road” , so i’m in my blue car while he drives his silver suv and when we pass we wave and don’t cut each other off…the weather is much nicer when we drive like this.
the final lesson – it is, indeed, possible to bloom where one is planted. i started the year 2010 thinking that i needed to be somewhere else doing something else but alas, i was wrong – and so utterly and completely wrong! i was right where i needed to be and realized it by looking within myself for happiness – not outside of my body or at my surroundings. i can be happy wherever i am. i only need to feel the earth beneath my feet and examine my heart and i am good – i am blooming….we are all bloomers when we encourage the seeds of happiness to take root right where we are…..
this was my favorite lesson of the year. the first two were painful and hard to endure but this one – well it was sort of a “wake-up call”. i am a packet of seeds – i have all that i need to be happy….
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