The most beautiful tee shirt – ever!

I was never good at sports. I have never had my name called and been asked to come to the front of the room. I have no trophies or plaques or blue ribbons or commemorative watches. I never won any awards for anything . Wait – I did win a blue ribbon when I was in grade school for my scribble picture of a teddy bear but it is only now that I reveal that I drew the teddy bear first and then scribbled over it. I must admit though that I have been lucky at random drawings for door prizes. I have won 2 fur coats, a shotgun and even a very nice screw driver set! Although appreciated, they weren’t awards for being me – for being Lettie.

I occasionally buy my husband a trophy just for being such a good guy. He has several and keeps them on his dresser as a constant reminder that he is loved. Most are vintage trophies or reproductions – one says “The Galveston County Poultry and Pigeon Association” but that doesn’t matter – Reid knows why he received it. He has about six trophies now that were awarded to him by me – his greatest fan.

The tee shirt above is the closest thing to an award that I have ever been given and in fact, it really is a trophy to me. It was given to me by a group of women who came to my home for a weekend which we lovingly called “Camp Lettie”. They presented me with this shirt in a brief ceremony while all wearing their matching apparel. The shirts were the uniform of the weekend. As Camp Lettie campers, we did all of the things that are expected at a camp – horseback riding, skeet shooting, canoeing, fishing, card games, billiards and wii bowling. About 12 women came and the 2 that were absent were represented by Barbie dolls with the appropriate color hair so that we could tell which was the absent camper. The dolls participated in all of the activities and are in the photographs to prove it!

It has been several years since the opening session of Camp Lettie. I sleep in this shirt now and keep it on display in my closet when it is not being worn. A simple heather gray tee shirt with the screen printed block letters Camp Lettie on the front – I can’t imagine any silver trophy or wooden plaque or diamond watch having more meaning than this simple but beautiful tee shirt.

and she lived happily ever after….

“You look really happy and I can tell. You really are happy”. These words were spoken to me at about 9:35 am this morning by someone who knows – who really knows because they can spot fraudulent or “pretend” happiness. Can’t tell you who said it – sorry – but I can tell you that it meant a great deal to me to hear these words from this person.

I felt like I had graduated from a very difficult curriculum at the university of how to be happy. If only I could get these words printed on a diploma…I would frame it in the most extravagant way and hang it just above my desk – a daily reminder that I have mastered the course.

And a difficult course it has been….I have been working on being happy with myself for about 5 years now. Prior to this handful of years I suffered from a serious case of the “what is wrong with me” and the “why am I not happy” mindsets. I just got so tired of it that I had to seek assistance beyond what I could provide for myself. I found help of all sorts and in abundance! I owe a big thank you to my friends and family, For Giving Works, great blogs, all of you who are reading this, good “how to” books AND especially my husband who likes me “just as I am”……he allows me to drive him crazy with my beads, dogs, peanut butter cravings and the general chaos that comes from living with a creative person that has no discipline whatsoever.

I used to think that happiness would come from an outside source but it does not – it has to come from within. I waited around far too long for it to drop into my lap. It just doesn’t work that way. Happiness is derived from an appreciation of all that we have in this moment – this very moment. With all of our flaws and personality quirks we must learn to be happy with who we are and stop wishing we were like someone else. One of my favorite quotes is “Be yourself – everyone else is taken”. I should have payed more attention to this.

And so today I am especially happy for I have been told that I am, indeed, “happy”. I had been suspicious that perhaps I was for a few months but I needed for someone else to recognize it and tell me that it is my truth – my diploma – my reward for working so hard to find it.