when pigs fly…..

I attended a “pity party” a couple of weeks ago that I was both hostess and guest at – it was my very own private party and it was lousy.  I was having one of those days when I was feeling sorry for myself and was flooded with thoughts of failure and disappointment about most everything.  Did not matter what it was – I was feeling like I was ready to give up and throw in the towel.   My prospect of success was the equivalent of “when pigs fly”……

I hope I am not the only one that has days like this.  Somebody please tell me that you do also.  I would love to think I am a normal sort of gal.  I spent several hours with my hands on my hips and a snarl on my lips before I realized that I was not having fun at the soiree and  had to find a way to snap myself out of it.  My first attempt at leaving the party was to text a friend and say “got any peanut butter?”    She knows me well enough to allow access to peanut butter whenever it is needed so it was just minutes before I was scooping a large tablespoon out of her jar.  In fact – I had two.  I would have stayed a bit to talk with her but it was the weekend and her husband was on the sofa so I vamoosed after the delicious fix and headed back to my home.   What to do what to do – the party was still going on in my head although the refreshments had been oh so fine…..

My other fail-safe tactic for breaking my mood is to make a necklace so I rummaged through my collection of pendants and inspiration came in the form of this flying pig that had been buried deep within the basket – it was a forgotten piece and when I found it I knew it was a much needed decoration for my spirit.  It would be symbolic of “staying the course” and this pig would help me.  I grabbed some pearls and found the accent beads that were calling and was quickly knotting a necklace that made me smile as it evolved.  It was to be for me – I would make pigs fly if only around my neck and a positive attitude was all that I needed to acquire to ensure success of everything that I was convinced was wrong.  As I knotted each pearl on my way to the end of the necklace I counted my blessings and found myself smiling…a photo was snapped and popped up on FB and the necklace sold!  Encouragement!  The guest that had been absent for a couple of weeks had arrived.   It was encouragement that I welcomed as my guest.   Any number of things might have ended the pity party but the universe sent me encouragement to entertain and I focused on it and the infinite possibilities of my future.  My friend Kathryn purchased the necklace when she saw the photo on FB.  She is a source of continued encouragement for me…I am thankful for her.

But the next morning brought me a gift in the form of an email.  More encouragement…..here are some excerpts:

“Dear Lettie -
I am the individual that has purchased three of your creations. One of them being the “Ava Maria” purchased today. I have a wonderful admiration for your work, and would have loved to add other treasures to my collection once I saw them all in person. I feel a very close spiritual connection with the “Ava Maria” and wanted to share my feelings with you. I follow your blog, and the recent one about the compass truly had me nodding my head in agreement. My needle is out of control, and I don’t know what I need to do.

As a child, I was never held or loved. There was much negativity with physical and verbal abuse toward me and my parents towards each other. I had a friend that was Catholic that gave me a plastic rosary when I was in kindergarten. She said that Mother Mary would protect her children and to always remember that. I would pray and pray that the yelling and screaming would stop when I was in my bedroom as a young girl, and prayed each time that we wouldn’t have to go to the ER that night. I would always hold my cross and say a special prayer.”

Her name is Brooke – she then proceeded to tell me some information about herself and her health – I so totally related to these tidbits of her life as they were somewhat akin to mine.   Here is the rest of her email…

“I made God a promise that I would not be like my parents, and I swore to myself that I would not break my promise to God. With that being said, I have a void when it comes to my own parents and to the lack of love from them. I have been looking at the “Ava Maria” for almost 4 months, and finally had the opportunity to look at it in person as well as have the opportunity to meet you! I went to Cafe Jonah with the attitude that I wasn’t going to purchase anything, but when I put the necklace on, I truly felt God’s presence and in my own special way, felt my void filled with “her” love.

Thank you for the wonderful gift and the most precious piece that I will ever own. I would love to meet with you one day and perhaps hear some of your thoughts about things that interest us both. Again, this has been an amazing experience and such an awesome thing that has happened in my life. I never knew that a person could “feel” a connection with a piece of art, but I have found out what that means.”

This kind of encouragement cannot be measured.   I wrote her and told her the significance of her email and received permission to use parts of it in this blog.    She knows that her email arrived at a time when I needed it and wrote me again to say how glad she was to have written it.    I have read her original email many, many times since receiving it.   It has become one of those moments that counts as “my happy place”.  I recall her kind words and I am happy….it is so simple.  Encouragement  was all that was needed to turn my boat around.  My attitude has been positive and sales have picked up.  No pity parties are allowed on my calendar now.    Encouragement.    What a powerful gift that we can give others.   Brooke and Kathryn sent me encouragement and together  we made a pig fly!  The universe is amazing.  It sends us what we need just when we need it as long as we remain positive and open….how cool is that!

the necklace that Brooke purchased

the inner compass in all of us…..

As all of us do from time to time, I find myself wondering what direction the rest of my life will take.  My inner compass seems to  be overactive – the needle bouncing all around and occasionally vibrating in a single direction only to start bouncing around once more.  And it’s not just me….

Both of my children are currently exploring their options.  Each in their own style – each with their own set of challenges and concerns.  Very different are they.  One a girl and one a boy.  Both on very different paths but yet with the same purpose.  They call me almost daily with options and concerns and ideas and worries.  I do what I can to encourage and reassure.   I am on my own tour of sorts and don’t have any answers for them.  They must find their own path and use their own compasses.  Their compasses are newer but mine is timeworn and a bit wiser.  I tell them that they must find their own direction – only them – and to remain open to possibilities presently unknown to them.  Staying positive and believing that good things are coming their way will ensure that they do.  One of them has embraced this belief system and has opportunities presenting themselves daily.  The other thinks I am wacko…..

And I have a couple of friends that are currently having trouble with their inner compasses as well.  We frequently talk about what we hope to achieve during our life.  One of the friends is experiencing the “empty nest” phase of her life.  She is wondering how in the world she will make it with her husband once the kids are gone.  I think that is more common than not.  We have a house filled with 6 dogs and 2 cats so we somehow never felt like “empty nesters” – but I don’t recommend this unless you are married to a veterinarian as I am.  Although I am responsible for each of the animals having joined our pack he loves them all as much as I do and the lifetime free health care makes for an easier situation. 

Young kids play into the decisions that another dear friend is trying to make.  Her compass is very active as well – her needle is jumping  – in fact it might be spinning.  She does not know which way to turn so just takes it one day at a time.  She is a wonderful mother and has to hold their compasses for her kids until they are old enough to manage them on their own for  her children are all under the age of 8.  And she has friends that are going through similar and even more challenging directional changes.  There must be something in the air….

Another buddy of mine is in a period of transition – big time.  I offered her a big hug yesterday and told her to “let the universe be her travel agent” – I love that quote.  I repeat it to myself often.  I like thinking that their is a divine plan for me and that I only need to show up and it will be laid out for me.  An easy plan to follow with obvious answers and fulfilling days….how wonderful would that be.  But we all know that it is not that simple.  Stumbling blocks just fall out of nowhere and throw us off course.  Illness, the economy, friends, any variety of bumps in the road must be navigated with our inner compasses.  We must trust our “hunches” -  that is our inner voice leading us in the right direction. 

One of my friends let her compass take her out of a marriage and across the country.  She is thriving in her new environment even though she has not yet put all of the pieces to her puzzle together yet – but she is getting close.  I admire her for following her heart – her dreams – her calling.   She is in Montana and living her dream.  All she needs to make it perfect is a job!  The last piece of her puzzle- the biggest one.  She is brave to leave that piece for the last.  She tells me that it would take a crowbar to pry her out of her new situation.  Her compass must be a deluxe version!

I think that my low self esteem keeps me from following new directions.  I am getting ready to do something that I have never done before in regards to my jewelry business and I am nervous and just plain scared.  But the needle keeps vibrating in that direction so I am determined to get there and see the thing through.  I hope that good things will come from it but that nagging little voice inside my head continues to tell me that I am somehow not worthy….there have been so many opportunities along my journey that I have passed up  because of that little nag inside of me but this time I will push forward.  My compass is telling me to move in a new direction.  I realized that if it was not the right direction I could just rechart my course – no big deal – and then the scaredy cat in me was tamed if only temporarily.

To all of us that are struggling with the direction of our lives – I say again, “let the universe be OUR travel agent” and trust your inner compasses.  If yours has led you down a path that you have not liked just imagine that you have a pretty new one that works better.  I am considering trading mine in…..I like this one because there is no North, South, East or West….just symbols that can be used for any direction I am called.